I’m going to be greedy this holiday season.

I’m not asking for the latest gadget or a new car or a trip to Morocco (family, if you’re reading this, I’ll take them still). Instead, as a long-suffering Seattle sports fan, I’m asking for something to make the 2024 year a brighter one not just for me, but for the millions of miserable, dejected people like me. This is my Seattle sports fan wish list.

For the University of Washington, I’m being as ambitious as possible. All I want is a National Championship, and let it be won with a victory over Michigan. The Huskies have already had an undefeated regular season, featuring a win at the last second over Washington State in the final Apple Cup game that will truly matter, and two wins over Oregon and their terrible uniform combinations, including in the final Pac-12 championship game ever.

But a win over the Wolverines and Jim Harbaugh? It’d be tough to say that won’t make this the greatest football season in Washington’s history. If you wanted to go ahead and cap that off with a massive extension for coach Kalen DeBoer that sees him remain in purple and gold for the foreseeable future, that’d be fine, too. Oh and parking, maybe fix the parking.

For the Seahawks, a rookie quarterback to get excited about. This is not Geno Smith slander. He’s been better than anyone expected and he’s not the reason that Seattle is such a mediocre team this year. But Smith will turn 34 next year, and it’s pretty obvious that he’s not going to be the signal-caller that leads them to their next Super Bowl. The Seahawks won’t be bad enough to draft Caleb Williams from USC or Drake Maye from North Carolina next year, but there is a plethora of quarterbacks that belong in the first-round conversation like Heisman Trophy winner Jayden Daniels from LSU, or possibly even Washington’s own Michael Penix Jr. The current version of the Seahawks isn’t bad, but I’m asking for a little more optimism for the future. The parking situation could be better, too.

For the Kraken, I dunno, something. The Kraken were undeniably one of the most enjoyable stories of last year in large part due to a bunch of players no one had heard of advancing to within a game of the conference finals. Unfortunately, the team didn’t make significant upgrades in the offseason, and this year, the Kraken are closer to cellar dwellers than championship contenders. The team has talented young players and plenty of draft picks, and while I understand general manager Ron Francis’s desire for patience for a team that didn’t even exist three years ago, I’ve seen enough wasted seasons from Seattle sports teams to ask that this not be another of them. Go make moves, Ron. It’s not too late for another fun playoff run. Also, parking.

For the Supersonics, existence. It seems very likely that when the NBA expands after the new television deal is put into place that the city of Seattle will be handed a new team. The stadium is there, the market helps a lot more than it hurts, and there’s a long history of success before the team was stolen and moved to Oklahoma City. But I’m done being patient. Whoever is listening, make it official now so that I can breathe easy, and so that I can watch YouTube highlights of Gary Payton and Detlef Schrempf with just a smidgen less sadness. I don’t think it’s asking too much. Make the parking affordable, too.

And for the Mariners, it’s pretty easy. I’m simply asking John Stanton to sell his controlling stake of the club to someone who is interested in using their assets to make the club better. There is overwhelming evidence that Stanton has not made winning the ultimate priority, and this offseason, full of salary-slashing moves, has been a prime example of that. While the Mariners may not be the only club cutting salary, that doesn’t make them doing it any more acceptable, especially with a roster on the verge of World Series contention and players openly asking for more help.

There are an awful lot of wealthy people in this world who would love to own a Major League Baseball team. At the very least, Mr. Stanton should explore finding one who has an interest in bringing championships to the city of Seattle. But this isn’t good enough. Neither are the parking prices.